White Thugs and Wiggery

Do you think any one of us should go dark?

'Toids (factoids, that is...)

1. I shorten words all the time...even at the cost of confusing my listener.
2. During those formative years of my childhood ('85-'95ish), the Minivan was all the rage! Fortunately, we McIntyre's were no slaves to the trend of the moment. My parents lucked up on a gently used VW bus to cart us around in. So cool. Did I mention it was two-toned orange/peach colored? Cause it was.
3. I put tiny camera scopes down sick people's noses for a living.
4. I love a good duet. Preferably male/female with some good harmony flowin. Kenny/Dolly's Islands in the Stream would be a perfect example of this.
5. I love things in miniature. My favorite are those 6 oz mini Coke cans.
6. I once dreamed a cupcake was coming out of my head and have had a love affair with them every since. I just love cupcakes...especially if they are mini cupcakes.
7. I have been pulled over more times than I can count...and my boyfriend happens to be a police officer. Rather ironic, huh?

seven

1. I like to impersonate Peabo Bryson and Vestal Goodman.
2. When I was young I thought I was really good at yodeling.
3. My initials are spelled out in the veins in my wrists.
4. My favorite childhood activity was playing Rock Star, which typically included me, a mini trampoline (stage), a baton (microphone), and a Whitney Houston cassette.
5. My first on-stage performance was in a second grade Christmas play. I was a french girl, complete with beret. My big line was, "Ooh la la, Santa. I can't wait til I tell you." Then I broke into a song about having Christmas on the Isthmus of Panama.
6. I have been in a step show . In Thailand.
7. I almost wet my bed at the age of 21.
   

We were tagged....

Our friends the Westmorelands tagged us to list 7 fun/random/weird facts about each of us. I'll start, but can't promise the others will follow in suit, maybe they will. : )

1. Not my favorite song in the world, but I thoroughly enjoy the cheesy Rupert Holmes song "Escape". You know, the "Do you like pina coladas? And getting caught in the rain?...." song.
2. When I was a child I liked to play with a calculator and would play bank. I would ride my bike through the bank drive-thru (carport) and use the dryer vent as the little suction contraption. How fitting, now that I get to use a calculator nearly everyday and go to the bank a lot for a living.
3. I strongly dislike bananas, but enjoy banana nut bread....weird, I know. I'm a weirdo when it comes to fruit in general.
4. This year has had a lot of "new" or "first" for me. I've been a caretaker to my very own first pet, my cute Mr. Handsome Buddy. I went to England, Scotland and the Kentucky Derby for the first time. I chose to change my diet to a wheat free diet. I've watched my parents sell our family business that they had since I was an infant and move on to different endeavors. Many new friends in all walks of life. Hopefully still more new/first to come in these last few months...especially the one I've been waiting for this whole year, practically life.
5. I really enjoy crafts and wish I had a room at my house known as "The Craft Room". I didn't really become crafty till after college when my mom taught me how to sew. At that point my crafty juices started flowing, or you could say this person really rubbed off on me. I really enjoy sewing, painting, decorating and thinking of new, unique ways I can make gifts/things, dressing something up, etc. I tend to want everything to look aesthetically pleasing.
6. I have lots of nicknames....Jess, Jessie, JHill, Jill, Keeks, Kiki, Jessica Sue and Yacka. Different people in my life call me by these names.
7. Over the past 10 years, at some point I've lived with 16 different people.

So, there you go, now I tag The Forbuses, Mom, The Medina's, Shana, The Crowe's, Ginny (soon-to-be Mrs. Smith) and The Mure's...sorry, if you have already been tagged. Now, you have to tell us 7 fun/random facts about yourselves and then tag 7 other people and leave them a comment to let them know.

the maid

Dear Esmeralda,

We regret to inform you that as of today, October 10, 2008, you are relieved of your duties as housekeeper of the Hill/McIntyre/Hannah residence. You haven't cleaned Amanda's room in months, you have failed to pick out our daily outfits (not to mention laundered and ironed them), and we haven't had a decent pancake for breakfast in weeks. This is unacceptable.

Sincerely,
TheParty'sOverHere

Spotted....

(Beware, a little PG rating material)

Below is the actual email correspondence between the Party Girls right after this happened today, I believe it gives the best interpretation of it all....

Jess: Spotted...Yes, I believe Cyndi and I rode the elevator up in our bldg after lunch with a stripper or possibly stripper shim who has a job on floor ??..... Gossip girl....xoxo

Mandie: What?!

Lynds: no way do tell what he/she/it looked like?

Jess: Well.... Cyndi and I got on the elevator and these 2 other ladies (or 1 lady, 1 it) got on behind us.... one lady works in the bldg and I see her all the time, she was carrying a small cd player and holding a cd.The other "it" I took a gander at as the 4 of us were squeezed into this elevator and I started at the feet, clear shoes...ick, nice legs...jealous, short dress...whoa, wow... mammoth plastic balls on her chest, noticed her bra strap or something peeking out top of dress and it didn't match, long bleach blonde hair, lots of make-up, very pouty lips and other work done to the face, very strong features on the face, semi-deep voice(definitely almost baritone)...and I hear "it" ask, "does he know anything about this?" as the regular lady proceeds to tell her the plan on delivering this special package to ???....the lightbulb then went off.

As I got off the elevator, I couldn't hurry fast enough to get out of the view of windows and look back at Cyndi as the elevator door was closing... finally, I looked at Cyndi and said "Was that what I thought it was?" she agreed 1) a stripper and 2) a possible "shim".....

So, the more I've thought about this, I would describe this "it" as a possible present-day Daryl Hannah look-a-like (you know after she has had her work done on her face). A little something similar to this, just different clothing....

Yearbooks

I love yearbooks! I think they are so fun to look at (and laugh at). I clearly remember different times that I sat for hours in the library at my parent's home looking through years and years of yearbooks of my parents, uncle, grandmother, sister and myself. I was even on the yearbook staff in high school....good 'ole Robert E. Lee Scabbard. So when I saw this site, I had to try it out.... in fact we all 3 did, but here are my pics for your viewing (and laughing) pleasure for the time being. The others should come soon.

Probably close to the time my grandmother graduated.....1952.

If I was my Mom's classmate......1976.

The year of my perm....I mean the year of my birth...1980.

Also a big year for perms and press-on nails....1994.

Photos courtesy of www.yearbookyourself.com

First Barbie

Who knew we might have a First Lady looking like a middle-aged Barbie in office come January?? Pictured above is Cindy McCain. Notice the Barbie pink suiting and Barbie blonde bouffant hairdo. John is no Ken doll, though. He definitely married up. But we still like you, JSM!! I don't guess this really pertains to household living, but I felt the need to point this out.

attack of the larvae

It was a normal day. I was on my lunch break. All I wanted was come home, eat lunch, do a couple things around the house, and get back to work. As I walked in the door, I noticed a stench coming from the carport. Mmm ... trash. See, the garbage men pick up our trash in the alley behind our house. Which, from the back yard, is straight up hill. Taking the trash out requires putting the smelly trash in the trunk of your car and wheeling it around to the alley. As one might imagine, it is tempting to leave the trash in the carport for days at a time.

On this particular day, the trash had probably been out for roughly four days, and contained the leftovers of a cookout. Pork, and lots of it. Flies LOVE meaty trash. Flies get into meaty trash and procreate. So, to alleviate the smell I go to move the trash. From the hole that has formed in the bottom of the bag spill hundreds - literally, hundreds - of maggots. I can't remember if I screamed or gagged or both, but I definitely experienced some sort of freak out reaction. Their writhing, disgusting bodies were everywhere. According to Google, one of the things that kill maggots is furniture polish. So I grabbed the Pledge and soaked the suckers with it's lemony fresh venom. Larvae still wiggling, I gave up and went inside for lunch. Funny - the only thing I had to eat was a frozen meal that was made mostly of orzo pasta. Mmmm.

In an attempt to keep flies out of the trash, I hurried to the nearest Walmart to purchase a large trash can for the carport. A trash can which cost me $30. Not to mention a $10 roll of giant trash bags. Today when I went to put trash outside, what do ya know - maggots. In what I thought would be a maggot-free zone.

Maggots, I shake my fist at thee.

big shuna

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Buddy Love Hill's Breath

The Shuna is Gonna Get Ya

When we think that we just can't handle the foul odor that is Buddy Love Hill's Shuna breath, we remember that he is both adorable and spiritual ...

[after a tragic paw accident, sporting a protective paper plate]

[reading colossians and praising the lord]

Coyotes seen in Redmont Park Again!!!

We received our lovely neighborhood association newsletter today....the #1 story article has been copied below.... what kind of neighborhood do we live in? Plus, take note of these helpful tips for all you out there that may cross a coyote.

Coyotes have been spotted in our neighborhood once again. Normally, coyotes are timid animals and will run away when challenged. However, humans increase the likelihood of contact with the animals by deliberately or inadvertently feeding them, whether by hand-outs or by providing access to food sources such as garbage or pet food. This can lead to the coyotes losing their natural fear of humans and they could become increasingly agressive.

If a coyote ever approaches too closely, pick up small children immediately and act agressively towards the animal. Wave your arms and throw stones, and shout at the coyote. Make yourself appear larger by standing up if sitting down, or step up on a rock, stump or chair. The idea is to convince the coyote that you are not prey, but a potential danger.

To prevent conflicts with coyotes:

1) Never feed coyotes.

a. Feed dogs and cats indoors. If you must feed your pets outside, do so in the morning or midday, and pick up food or water bowls, leftovers, and spilled food before dark everyday.

b. Don't feed stray dogs and cats. Coyotes prey on animals as well as any food you leave out for them.

2) Keep dogs and cats indoor, especially from dusk to dawn.

3) Don't give coyotes access to garbage. Once a coyote finds easy prey or food it will continue to hunt and scavenge the area.

Best to you all and your coyote battles....

Show Tunes Tuesday

The hills were alive this morning at 6:30 am. One of the lovely things about sharing a bathroom with a vocalist is that morning singing is never off limits. Mandie and I get ready at the same time most days. While somewhat cramped, we have a nice large mirror in our bathroom and have no trouble sharing. Is this too much info for this blog? Am I supposed to be saying "bathroom" on here. Well anyway, I digress. So, I don't know how it all got started, but on this particular Tuesday morning we shared several tunes from the beloved Sound of Music soundtrack. Oh we needed no accompaniment...belting out Edelweiss in two part harmony was enough to launch a full on medley. From the Lonely Goatheard to Favorite Things, each song was worked into our routine. It was beautiful. Well...maybe not, but we had fun. Jessica had the sheer privilege of being on the other side of the bathroom wall. Did she hum along...or rev up her hairdryer to drown out the AM annoyance? Who knows. What will next Tuesday morning hold? Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious has always been a favorite of mine...we shall see. Until then, I urge all my co-habitating friends out there to make the most of your mornings. Additionally, Show Tunes Tuesday Vol 1. will be made available for purchase by late November.

meet binkie boo

This is the man of the house (the dog, not Jessica). His official name is Buddy, but he rarely gets called that ... he goes by Binkins, Boo Boo, Boudreax, etc. He is a tiny, tiny dog with unusually large man parts, has a peeing problem, and has doggie anxiety. But we love him. I mean ... look at that face. Come on.

To kill or not to kill...

Confession. I saw the roach before she got in the shower. I actually showered with the roach. I didn't kill it before she got in after me. Honestly, I didn't want to kill in the buff and secretly hoped it would scurry off before she got in. Alas, it didn't. The cry started off small and quiet as she was still in a sleepy stupor...."roooaaAACHHH!", she cried as guilt settled on in my heart. Feeling horrible for allowing this, I quickly got the fly swatter and gave the roach a shake down (it had "conveniently" wedged itself BETWEEN the curtain and the plastic liner). A few shrieks, squeals and swats later, it was dead. Mandie, I am apologizing publicly for not killing the roach on it's first sighting. But then how un-exciting would your morning have been?